Why Can't He Read My Mind? Getting Your Dream Ring, and Avoiding Dissapointment
Ladies, gentlemen, and all brides and grooms to be, I have reviewed the online tips for getting the engagement ring you want, and let me tell you these guys know what they're doing:
leave a picture of your favorite ring on your phone for your loved one to spot
leave your computer open with a picture
go ring shopping together (and kill the surprise)
send a best friend (and hope for the best)
Surely your loved one will surprise you completely– because they will either magically pick up on your subtle hinting (which would be quite shocking), or because they will get you a completely different ring than you were expecting, tempering the joy of the moment.
So say our loved one got it, our partner noticed the picture and got us the ring, are we happy? Well there’s good news…. we are not disappointed, we got what we wanted. But what if our partner missed our bread crumbs and did not follow the yellow brick road, then we are toast.
Now, even if we are one of the lucky ones (who hit the jackpot with an attentive, detail oriented, direction following, less creative partner) and we got what we wanted then its a compromise. Pretty, exquisite, expensive, and yet nonetheless a compromise.
Pretty rings are made to be pretty and exquisite but they are just and only that- pretty. In what way do these rings represent anything beyond your budget? Do they represent who you are, who your partner is and why you are together? Is the ring a symbol of when or how you met and what your love is all about?
So, what’s the alternative?
I’d say ruin a smaller surprise to land the really important one. For your coming birthday, holiday or Valentine’s Day, take your loved one and visit a local jeweler you like. Not a jewelry store or a gallery, but a jeweler, the artist, the person that makes the stuff you love.
Make your jeweler your partner in crime, let her know what you are after. Then, when you visit the jeweler she will interview you for the stones, metal and shapes you like (and your partner will be there listening). While you are working on your birthday or holiday ring your jeweler can casually tell you the story about this other sweet couple who came to you for Valentine’s and a few weeks later the boyfriend returned to design the perfect engagement ring.
She can show a line of engagement rings for you to say what you like and dislike, helping you to arrive quickly at the humbler birthday ring you actually came shopping for.
Your partner now knows, when the time comes, he/she will head to your favorite jeweler (who by then knows your dos and don’ts, your colors, your passions). She will know how to interview your loved one, helping him or her bring themselves into the story of the wedding ring.
Your loved one will be contributing content and context, while the jeweler will follow your design guidlines.
